mistercoventry:

Making my way downtown

Walking fast

and I’m homebound 

psyducked:

I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do

caseyanthonyofficial:

onlylolgifs:

Baby thinks she can eat food from the magazine

What an idiot

tonystarksnipples:

colonelmustangsnipples:

goldenclitoris:

poopflow:

roughrimjob:

meladoodle:

she got a pussy like the grand canyon

dry and sandy

possibly filled with dead bodies 

Includes approximately 70 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 25 types of reptiles and five species of amphibians

a popular tourist site

Everyone goes there and comes away feeling vaguely unsatisfied with the entire experience

I wanna get drunk and suck face with someone, but since i have no booze or boys, brownies are fine with me. yeah, brownies are a close second to a hot boys tongue in my mouth. 

thegardenfox:

awesomephilia:

This little kid fell and the seal seemed to be very worried about her

“Look at me I’m beautiful and graceful and oh shit kid you ok”

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

we’re a very non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let our dog name us. my name is Woof, and i’d like you to meet my husband, Woof. these are my kids Woof and Woof